Your stop for the annual poetry fic challenge!

Title: Tail Light
Fandom: None
Author: luneque
Rating: G
Pairing (if there is one): Shan/Tessa
Summary: Tonight is the night Shan chooses living instead of existing
Content Notice: No warnings needed.
Disclaimer: Hey. All mine. Fancy that.
Author's Note: This is a vignette from a story I haven't entirely fleshed out.
Word Count: 1,210



At two in the morning, when the moon
has driven away,
leaving the faint taillight of one star
at the horizon,

— Ted Kooser

~*~

Shan stepped out into the early morning air, the balmy heat feeling like a chill after the press of the crowd in the club. She curled her hands around herself, chafing her arms as she stared out at the road, each car that drove past solitary. It made her feel unmoored, and she rubbed her fingers together as though the red that stained her hands could be rubbed away.

"You okay?" Shan turned to see a girl with black hair and a leather jacket shaking out a cigarette. She offered one to Shan, who shook her head. "It's cool."

The girl was wearing a bright red dress, and Shan could feel tension building up in her shoulders. Red was good luck, but Shan was starting to feel averse to seeing it. Maybe Sādàn had sent this girl to tease her with the memory of their promise, and all Shan wanted was peace.

Shan glanced toward the other woman again only to find her staring back, her eyebrow an elegant arch, her footsteps small and careful as she approached. Shan gave a small smile, a twist at the corner of her mouth, and looked up at the sky. The moon was a dark hole, no light reflected, and it made Shan shiver.

"I haven't seen you here before. My name's Tessa." Tessa stepped up to Shan's side and offered a hand.

"Shan." Tessa's hand was warm and soft in hers, and Shan shook it just long enough not to be rude. "It's nice to meet you."

"You, too." Tessa flicked the ash from her cigarette and took another drag. Her eyes flickered down to Shan's hands, stained crimson from wrist to fingertips, but didn't say anything else. Shan appreciated the quiet.

Tessa had nearly finished her cigarette when Shan spoke again. "I have—a hypothetical question for you,"

Tessa turned toward her and quirked an eyebrow. "Go on."

"If you—knew that there was an afterlife, and you knew where you were going to go after you died, what would you do?"

"That's a heavy question for 2 am on a Saturday." Tessa grinned and turned to fully face Shan. "That's your question, seriously?"

Shan could feel a flush of heat burn up her cheeks, and she shook her head. "Forget it. It was a stupid question. It's late and I'm tired."

"No, no, it's interesting," Tessa said, pushing a strand of black hair behind her ear. "I was just thinking that early morning philosophy would be great." She ground her cigarette beneath the toe of her heel and crossed her arms. "Assuming there was an afterlife and I knew where I was going, then … I'd dance."

"Dance?"

Tessa nodded. "I'd dance. And eat too many french fries and cut my hair. I figure, people only live their life with boundaries when they're afraid. If you already know where you're going or what you're doing, what is there to be afraid of? Nothing you'll do will change anything, right?"

Shan frowned, her forehead creasing, but her nod was slow and firm. "You're right."

Tessa beamed. "The way I see it, just live the best you can, to make sure you don't have any regrets."

"I already have too many," Shan said, turning away from Tessa to look at the near empty road again.

"Isn't that a clue that you're living the wrong way?" Tessa pressed her lips together and then reached out to touch Shan's elbow. "We should get you out of the habit of regretting. Do you dance?"

Shan shook her head. "Not really. My roommate is the one that likes the clubs."

"Then that's going to be our first thing." Tessa tugged on Shan's arm, and after a moment, Shan followed. She could feel the change immediately once she got inside—the bass changing the thump of her heart, the people crowded together, the sudden rise of the temperature. Tessa didn't let go of her hand, though, pulling her through the crowded dance floor until she had found a spot to fit them both. Shan stood there uncomfortably, unaccustomed to large crowds, but Tessa set her hands on Shans hips and shook her from side to side. "No one cares if you can't dance, you know. Just have fun!"

Shan laughed. In the end, it took three pina colada daiquiris before she relaxed enough to dance. What was even better was that Tessa never left her side, although they were strangers, and Shan assumed that Tessa must have friends somewhere waiting for her.

"Don't you have other people with you?" Shan shouted against the music.

"What?" Tessa yelled back, tugging Shan closer. "I can't hear you over the music!"

Shan tripped her way closer; they were pressed cheek to cheek, and Tessa hadn't stopped dancing. It felt weirdly intimate, pressed from shoulder to hip, and Shan's breath quickened. "I said—" Shan turned her mouth to Tessa's ear. "I asked if you had friends with you!"

Tessa nodded. "I do!" She reached down to squeeze Shan's hand, and Shan's fingers twitched in surprise. She couldn't remember the last time someone willingly touched her hands. "Do you want to meet them?"

Shan pulled back just far enough to look at Tessa, and she shook her head, tongue darting out to dampen her lips. "Not really!"

"Then don't worry about it!"

Shan's surprised by her own laugh, and she turned to press her forehead to Tessa's shoulder for a moment, her own shoulders shaking. She didn't even think it was that funny, but the drinks had left her warm and easy, and it felt good to laugh, for a change.

"Hey." Tessa's voice was a soft rumble against Shan's ear, more vibration than sound. "Want to let me in on the joke?" Tessa set her hand on the small of Shan's back, rubbing absent, comforting circles, and heat grew in the pit of Shan's stomach.

"There's no joke," Shan said. "I think I just need to get some air."

Tessa nodded, her hand dropping away, and she pushed through the crowd, letting Shan follow in the open space behind her.

The air outside the club seemed even colder now, but Shan took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself as she hopped in place.

"So." Tessa's breath was a cloud of steam around her plum mouth. "How is the 'doing what you want' approach at life working out so far?"

Shan's mouth twisted in a smile. "It's fun." She glanced at her watch. "It's pretty late, though. Layla—my roommate—is probably looking for me."

"Oh." Tessa shrugged and then dug a pen out of her inside jacket pocket. "Tell you what. The next time you want to have some fun, give me a call." She wrote out her phone number, each mark careful and clear. "Don't forget."

"I won't. Thanks for tonight." Shan's eyes followed the slant of Tessa's smile, and then Tessa turned and walked away. It made Shan think of cars and transportation and the way it felt when she watched someone drive away from her, the way taillights had always seemed like after images behind her eyelids, but it was okay.

Shan looked down at her arm.

She had Tessa's license plate now.